Recovering From Infidelity in Lexington, Richmond & Frankfort KY

What is Infidelity?

Infidelity is unfaithfulness in a marriage or committed relationship that can lead to severe strain in the relationship. Infidelity causes intense feelings of anger, betrayal, jealousy, disbelief, guilt, and shame. Sometimes, an affair ends a relationship, and other times couples are able to repair the relationship on their own or with the help of a therapist. 

Signs & Symptoms

Infidelity is usually the single most damaging thing that can happen in a relationship. It goes beyond the physical betrayal to the much more profound emotional betrayal. Some of the reasons that a person may engage in an extramarital relationship include:

• Low self-esteem
  
• Primary relationship dissatisfaction
  
• As an exit strategy to end the primary relationship
  
• A lack of emotional intimacy in the primary relationship
  
• Sex addiction
  
• Avoidance of personal or relationship problems
  
• Depression
  

The trauma of infidelity can be compared to other types of trauma, which can induce symptoms of:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder
  
• Depression
  
• Unmanageable levels of anxiety
  
• Un-characteristic and/or erratic behaviors.
  

Several different types of infidelity can occur in a relationship, including:

• An object affair is when the neglect of a relationship is for the sake of pursuing an outside interest.
  
• In a sexual affair, one partner may have sexual intercourse outside the relationship, but he or she generally experiences no emotional attachment to the other person. 
  
• A cyber affair, or infidelity committed through sexts and chats, may remain entirely online and never reach the point of sexual intimacy. 
  
• An emotional affair occurs when one partner becomes emotionally attached to another person. 
  
• An affair might also combine sexual and emotional intimacy, generally considered to be a second relationship.
  

Multiple affairs may indicate an addiction to sex, love or romance. Love and romance addicts are driven by the passion of a new relationship. Sexual addicts are compulsively attracted to the high and the anxiety release of sexual orgasm. 

Diagnosis & Treatment Options

Whether you call it cheating, having an affair, adultery, infidelity, or breaking your monogamy vows, it profoundly hurts people in committed relationships. Infidelity does not have to mean the end to a relationship.  For a majority of cases of infidelity, not only can the relationship be saved but it can evolve into a stronger and more resilient, and even more intimate relationship than before, with the help of marriage counseling. The process of marriage therapy is different in each situation but here's what you can expect: 

• Each person gets to air their grievances and express how they've been hurt by the other in a safe environment with a therapist present. 
  
• Once each of you has acknowledged the hurt, you can then move on to exploring what went wrong. 
  
• When the events and facts are fairly well understood, you can then start looking deeper to understand what emotional and psychological dynamics were at play that led to the affair. 
  
• Finally, you'll start the process of learning new ways to relate that are healthier, and that foster a sense of connection and intimacy.
  

Recovery, should a couple choose to maintain a relationship after infidelity, can be a lengthy process; with experts agreeing that healing often occurs within two years.

Other factors that influence the recovery process include each partner's communication skills, tolerance for conflict, capacity for honesty, acceptance of personal responsibility, and attachment style. Recovery typically progresses through the following phases:

• Trauma Phase: This phase is often a roller coaster of emotions, ranging from loss and grief to rage and frustration, and can be accompanied by bouts of tears or conflict. 
  
• Issues Clarification: It is during this time that couples begin to examine what led to the affair. Although there is still a great deal of emotional instability, partners want to understand why the affair happened. 
  
• Addressing the Problem: As emotions become more manageable, spouses can tackle the difficult task of working on the issues that led to the affair. 
  

There Is Hope!

Once couples experience infidelity, all hope is not lost. It is possible for a couple to heal the wounds and create the relationship they desire, it will just take time to re-build trust, intimacy, and a sense of security. If you have experienced infidelity in your relationship, marriage counseling can help.  Contact our office today to set up an appointment, or visit these websites for more information.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/infidelity

http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/infidelity