In the most recent months I have watched people and family members experience the loss of loved ones. It is by far one of the most painful things we as humans can experience. Some of us try desperately to avoid this painful process at all costs. What we know about grief is, it is inevitable. It is not a matter of if we grieve but when. We all grieve differently. In realizing that most people have unrealistic expectations of their own grief process I wanted to share a few things that might be helpful. There are stages of grief defined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross her book “On Death and Dying.” They are as follows: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. We will experience these somewhat in this order but can move in and out of these various stages. It’s important to recognize your feelings and deal with them throughout each stage.
There is no timeline for grief. The first year is tough. It’s the first time you are experiencing life events without your loved one. Be patient with yourself. Do things to memorialize and honor your loved one. Allow yourself to be sad. That is perfectly normal and expected. Take care of yourself. Rest, eat well and exercise even if you don’t want to. Do not make any major decisions the first year unless it is absolutely necessary. Ask for help and support from family and friends and if necessary seek professional help in dealing with the loss. Write about your loss. It will help sort through your feelings and will encourage the grief process to move forward. Lastly, remember that no matter how much pain you feel, you WILL survive this grief and loss.
Carrie Koontz, MSW, LCSW, CADC
Carrie Koontz works at The Offices of Paul D. Dalton, MS, LPCC, CADC in Richmond, KY. Her office website is http://www.counselinglexingtonky.com/richmond-ky-counseling-and-psychiatry/
and the office Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/pages/Offices-Of-Paul-Dalton/344785342269140
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617
http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/types-of-grief/
https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2013/03/over-40-life-experiences-you-might-have-cause-grief
